By Fran Migliorati
I feel like there is extra pressure on Valentine’s Day this year because the whole world needs more love at the moment. We can’t pour from an empty cup, right? Wherever you are in your fertility journey, you deserve some quality time nurturing the relationship you have with YOU.
Consider giving yourself the gift of your own energy, time and attention. Allow yourself to receive love without judgment, shame or guilt and without rushing through the process.
Here are 7 ways that you can start expanding your self-love this Valentine’s Day:
Commit to a time – think about how much time you can give yourself and use it all. Don’t give up before the time is up or ‘re-schedule it’, this is a commitment you are making with yourself, honour it. When setting up a time challenge your first answer – is that really it or can I commit a bit more time?
Honour your body – our body is our biggest ally through every step of our fertility journey, honour your body and everything it has already endured so far with you. Thank it for being there for you. Give your body a massage, for example feet or hands massage, whilst connecting to your body and the bodily sensations you feel.
Forgive yourself – it is in our nature to be critical and judgemental of our behaviours, of our thoughts and of our attitudes in life. Forgive yourself for all the times you caught yourself making a mistake or for an attitude in the past that you no longer agree with. You can do this by writing them all down on a piece of paper, all the things that you would like to ask for forgiveness. Once you have them all on paper, you can (safely) burn the paper whilst saying to yourself: I now forgive myself. I no longer need to suffer. I let go and let The Universe take it.
Gratitude journal – (I recommend this exercise straight after the forgiveness exercise above). You can start this gratitude journaling by freely writing about the things that you are grateful for in your life. Then put aside anything that is external to you and focus only on yourself as you continue to journal.
Create a self-love altar – surround an area in your home with the things that fill and light you up. If you already have a self-care area, think about upgrading it with items that ignite your self-love too, or re-arrange and/or replace some of the items.
Write a vulnerability letter to yourself – this exercise is very powerful because it helps you release some of the emotions that may be stuck inside. Start by writing to yourself how you are feeling in general. After a couple of lines shift focus to the things that are making you feel vulnerable at the moment in your life. Let the words flow on a piece of paper without any judgement. After a while, you can focus on each area of your life individually, for example relationships, work, finances, fertility (for example, I feel vulnerable in my relationships because… or when…) just write down whatever comes to mind.
Write a Valentine’s Day card to yourself – buy yourself a gorgeous Valentine’s Day card and write to yourself as if you were writing to your best friend (just like a love letter to yourself).
Love yourself first. Never underestimate the importance of self-love and advocating for your own happiness, mental space and wellbeing. You simply can’t give to others what you don’t possess within you.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love, Fran
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